Dear Mr Littlebum

Dear Mr Littlebum,

Today is one of those special days, one of those days where other people throw rocks at you and tell you to get a room whilst vomming into their shoes. Today tells us we have been together two years. TWO YEARS.

To be quite honest, anyone would think we’ve been together for 60 years.. especially the way we live.

And whilst I’m also being honest, it’s not actually today is it? We really aren’t too sure. You see, we always argue over this. You think from the day you lured me into your life back in February. And I think the end of April when I finally realised that actually, maybe you were an alright egg. And I was right, you really are.

I’m not too sure that we have the story to tell the grandchildren.. Maybe we can leave it at the “We met in the French Alps” bit, instead of adding in, that in fact I was dressed as a nun and you were wearing masking taped trousers. I guess that’s how you could describe us really… I mean it must have been love, especially after you didn’t run across the street when I fell face down in my own puke, or when I spent the night in hospital, unconscious, dressed as a superhero. But let’s be honest, you’ve had your fair share, from falling asleep on the bathroom floor, to eating ALL my ice cream one after another.

But you know what? As much as I love to call you a fly on shit, you really are a nice little bum person. 

I am quite pleased that you pestered me to hang out with you. And that you continuously brought me chips, cheese and gravy whenever I worked the graveyard shift. You sure knew the way to my little cold heart. And with every piece of food you made me, you slowly turned my heart warmer. So warm, that I wanted to be with you. And your food skills.

I like your little face, your incredibly kind heart, and the fact you nod and agree to everything I say. Oh and secretly those dimples aren’t too bad either.  Plus you’re a pretty good hamster daddy if I do say so myself.  

Mr Littlebum, who looks like an owl, two perfect years today..Here’s to many more years full of wine and peanut butter toasties.

Peanut butter toasties will never grow old. But we shall. Together.

I love you.

Your Bigbum. x

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