I don't even think I mentioned it here, but I started a new job over three months ago. It was a huge change, but one that I felt I wanted to do now, because the best time to try something new is now right?! I'm now a Social Media Manager for Culture Trip, and I spend my days scouring beautiful photos for our various Instagram channels in between photographing books in cosy environments. It's been a bit of a change, with a new commute, and longer hours (and the fact I've struggled to switch off with us always having social media around us), but I really enjoy it. And I'm so glad I made that new leap. Plus, I've mastered the sleep on the train, so y'know those early mornings aren't all so bad!
With moving out of one place, meant moving into another, and this time it was down to Reigate with it's village-like feel, beautiful backdrops and some pretty awesome coffee shops too! It's ideal right now, and since I've basically been here for the past three months anyway, it already feels like home. My fake plants are dotted around the house, my quoted frames are hung on the walls and I've called on the biggest drawer in the home for my underwear - so I think I'm currently winning. Also, living with the male has been fun. Genuinely. Except he's probably going to tire of my giggles as we're falling asleep...
Little Runklebum has been settling in like a dream after a few months of being the cat who's always in the car (and an amazing one at that too!), and has made quite the friend in the male too. Although he's not going outside at the moment, he spends his days being neighbourhood watch from the window, attempting to climb to the highest point of the wardrobe and leaving trails of hair bobbles up and down the hallway. He's also being even cuter than he's ever been - which I never thought possible. But sometimes things just constantly keep surprising us, and this is one of them!
London has lots to offer, but working long hours means that adventures in the city can be limited. We've been making more of an effort to use our weekly travel tickets, and jump back on a train to explore London on a weekend. A few weeks back, the male ran a half marathon (yup, I was feeling super proud) and with that it was only right to celebrate for the afternoon, drinking beer and wine in a quaint pub, with family. Days like these have us itching to explore more. And we'll never tire of spending time with our favourite people.
Oh London, you're being quite fun (even if you're tiring at times) and you've got so much food on offer, but you're not being so good on my hips! Lunch time is the best and the worst time with there being numerous restaurants and cafes everywhere you turn for a tasty treat. In the office we're currently obsessed with La Vietnamese in Clerkenwell because their Pho's are just perfect for this cold weather creeping in. Next week I'll bring in my lunch, I will. I'll just have to not walk past the pasta place all week.....
Buying new things, means wearing said new thing ALL the time. I know that's what happens with me anyway, and since this beautiful simplicity of a jumper entered my life a few weeks back, it's fair to say it's hardly left my side. It's cosy and warm which is great for those cold mornings, and it's a perfect colour with the a perfect turtle neck filling all my wardrobe needs. New Look, you're currently winning with your jumper selections. I think I'll be heading back shortly to you to bulk out this Winter wear!

I guess being away for a while finally does bring back words to your brain (and keyboard!).
Primark Tee | Boohoo Necker | Boohoo Culottes | New Look Slip-Ons

For the last 18 months or so I've debated culottes in my wardrobe. I wanted to be that girl, who sported a black bandeau top (long sleeve FYI) with some beautiful culottes that made my legs look like they go on forever, made me look lean, and also pretty damn sassy and together - because I mean, that's what we all want to look like on a night out right? I know I get these visions anyway...

Well, that dream was fairly shattered when I tried every single pair on. (It felt like it anyway!).

I tried fancy ones, I tried cheap ones. I tried really darn expensive ones and I tried every single colour known to man (OK, I stuck mostly to dark colours because, hello, hips!).
And then I gave up. It wasn't meant to be.
But really, I don't give up. Once I've got an idea in my head, well, it stays.
Even if I try to pretend it's disappeared. Oh it's still there.
It still hovers over the search button, and it still thinks maybe just this time. You know, cause sometimes it IS just so! And on this last occasion, it almost was this time.

I say almost, because I'm still undecided they're the most flattering on me, but you know what?
Occasionally we gotta say no to the bad vibes. And embrace it. Work with it instead.
Because, basically. I like them. A lot.

They're comfortable.
They're fitted round my waist. (yes mama, laugh at that elastic tie waist all you want...)
They sit at a length that doesn't make me look stumpy.
They hang pretty neatly off my hips, keeping my thighs still fairly hidden (winning!).
They're black. Practical.
And I can dress them down for work with my trainers and a chunky jumper. Or I can wear them with my trusty pink heels and a pretty slinky black top.

So in that sense. I think I finally won. I didn't give up on finding the (kinda) right pair.
And don't they say:
"The first step to getting what you want is having the courage to get rid of what you don't."

Except I didn't get rid of anything this time.

So maybe that's not quite so accurate.....
"Sometimes, you just need a break. in a beautiful place. alone. to figure everything out"

Our lives are broken down into chapters, with each day, each moment essentially becoming an event in our lives. We do things and we achieve them, in order to be who and where we are today. And sometimes these things aren't necessarily created or led by us, they merely just come about.

I'm always a firm believer that everything happens for a reason, and everything that we've done, we've learnt from, achieved and experienced, brings us to the current. The now. And for me now, those things that have built up over time, in my life and especially in the last eighteen months, have built me up for this moment. This next chapter in my life.
Now with another.

I remember when I first thought about living alone. I said it with confidence, partly because I don't think many people actually HAD the confidence in me living alone so I was trying to back my decision, my choice, but also because I was trying to believe it myself. If I said it boldly, I believed it.
I would. And I could live alone.
But really, I was completely and utterly shit scared.
I'd never lived alone before.
I liked being around people.
I liked having someone to go home to.
I liked cooking for people, or being cooked for.
I liked that warmth in a place where people where.
And I didn't actually think, I really wanted to do it. To live alone.
But I almost had to.

When friends told me that it would be the best thing I'd ever do, I honestly laughed at them. I thought I was different to them. I thought I wouldn't enjoy it. Because I don't like space alone, and they did. Because I wasn't good at quiet time, and they were. Because I thrived off people and got my energy off others, whereas they didn't feel the need to. 
And I basically admitted that I didn't do so well on my own. 

I was almost a fail, right before I'd even begun.

And then this strength came over me. I wasn't a teenager anymore (hell, I haven't been for a while. I need to remember that!); I knew how to work a washing machine (I mean, we'll ignore that it took me a year to buy the right washing powder..), I could cook for myself, I was capable of getting up in the morning. And I had a cat to keep alive. And myself.
I HAD to do it.
Because who else would in this right now?
So I found a flat. It was only my second place I'd viewed. And I instantly felt it was right... It's like, it was there, just at the right moment. For me.
Only me.

It's true what they say. Sometimes you really do just need a break, in a beautiful place, alone, to figure everything out.

I did just that.

This place, I called home. I completely made it my own. But more importantly, it made me my own too. It turned me into the person I am now. It made me realise what I wanted from life. It taught me things I didn't ever know. It highlighted things to me I never even thought I was capable of doing, and it really truly, made me, me. It was a blessing, in disguise.
It became the place where I cried more times than I can remember, where I healed a confused and lonely heart, where I debated everything in life and where I finally accepted to ask for reassurance. And it was also the place where I laughed nearly every day, where friends came and added their warmth to the walls, where evenings were spent drinking wine, cooking delicious food and catching up with loved ones. Where drunk nights were had, many sleepovers were prepared and memories that were made forever and will be looked back at fondly. With warmth, and love and a special time close to myself.
But mostly, it was the place where I met this guy. That guy I spoke about before, and where our relationship really blossomed, and our love grew. And laughter and happiness filled that little place every single day we were together.

It was a happiness that I'd never felt before in my life. In every single possible way.

And with that, as one chapter ends and that beloved blue door closes to my favourite home so far, with a few tears in my eyes, another one opens and welcomes me in with excitement and love that quite honestly, makes me smile.

A real genuine smile. Full of love.

"A house is just bricks and mortar. But memories made wherever, stay forever."
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