Stopping & Starting

I half expected this year to start like the other years, with January being that boring long month, a dull and miserable time with the January blues kicking in, and payday seeming a century away. But this year was the complete opposite. Christmas was incredibly busy for us, and even though we were very fortunate to be off for the two weeks, we didn't stop once (apart from the day before NYE, when we sat around in our pants!). And in actual truth, I don't think I've still stopped yet - and we're what, nearly the end of February?
I'm a bit of a mixed bag. The days when I'm busy, I crave to slob on the sofa with a blanket and comfort food, and then the weekends where no plans are in sight, I find myself in a fluster itching to get outside, to make the day worthwhile. For the first time in what feels like a while, I have not stopped. And I've really enjoyed it. Even from a work side of things (and if you know me, I've never been career driven!), I find myself replying to emails in the evening, setting reminders of things I need to do in the morning, and for once, feeling almost positive about my career. Work has completely taken over my life in the last month and a half, with my suitcase becoming my companion, my hard work paying off (yeah! I do actually think I've worked harder!), the satisfaction of meeting customers and them warming to you, and even the odd glass of wine seeming ideal, to attempt a good nights sleep (it didn't happen!). So I guess with work filling up this small brain of mine, my weekends (well, the weekends I wasn't working!) should have been spent relaxing, putting my feet up, and catching up on the housework that won't do itself (and catching up on TLC - Extreme Couponing, I've missed you!). But instead, I filled my diary. I filled it with weekends at friends houses, lunch dates with my favourites, and welcoming anybody and everybody into my house. And it's been so full on, that I guess I've had little time to think of myself, and instead put everyone else first. Simple things like painting my toenails got put aside, printing off pictures for our frames weren't completed and sorting through that pile of unwanted clothes still remains, and instead I thought about everyone else, and made time for them. And kept myself busy, because it was fun. It kept me on my toes.
So this week it felt like a complete shock when I stopped. I had no plans for the two days I booked off,and as much as I probably needed it, I felt completely lost. I currently feel completely lost. Right now, I feel a little like I don't know who I am - this busy person I've become in the last few months has almost pushed me, pushed me to do better in my work, but on the other hand not know much certainty about anything else. Except that I need to look after myself. And that if I could right now, I'd easily curl up in a tight ball, and fall asleep for a week (ideally somewhere hot, but my snug blanket will do).
I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I'll leave you with Claire's latest post where I'm sure many of us can agree on. And as she writes so perfectly "Everyone has an opinion, but none of them live your life".

7 comments

  1. For the month of January and February, I craved to do nothing. To plod along and spend time with me. It was great! Although I assume some of my friends are a little miffed, when you work hard during the week rushing from A to B, you need time to chill out and relax. Don't burn yourself out Katy! x

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  2. January and February have flown by for me too, busy looking at houses and working haha :) I'm the same as you when I'm busy I want to sit and do nothing, then when I'm doing nothing I'm yearning to make plans haha :)
    www.lifeinthefashionlanee.blogspot.com

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  3. Yes and yes! I can't believe it's almost March now. And I love the link you recommended. Thank you for sharing it :)

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  4. This is me, when I'm busy I want nothing more than time to chill out and do bugger all, but the second I have that chance I just feel lost, bored and restless!

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  5. I get a kind of guilty feeling sometimes when I actually manage to stop, like I'm wasting the time. That being said, this weekend I finally took a day off of everything and had the best nights sleep in so so long! xx
    www.lovedbylaura.com

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  6. I’m in love
    with your blog! It was so interesting to
    read your posts and also I’d like to say that you have beautiful photos!
    p.s. new
    post - how I met Victoria Beckham http://www.dianacloudlet.com/2015/02/victoria-beckham-zip-pouch-met-victoria-beckham.html



    Diana
    Cloudlet

    http://www.dianacloudlet.com/

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  7. I've never commented on a blog before, but this really spoke to me so I felt that I had to. I felt exactly the same this weekend. A scheduled two day break from all things work-related became two days of self-doubt, worrying and feeling like I was wasting precious time. I came to realise that when not working or being busy, I don't know what to do with myself - and I never wanted to become that person.

    Sometimes I think it takes a feeling of uncertainty to make you re-evaluate your priorities - and that can never be a bad thing!

    Thank you for the honest post that, for me, came at just the right time.
    Alice
    x

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